Inhale, Exhale, Live
by Fact Vs Fiction
Summary: I have one last truth to speak...Warning: Character Death.


A:N: I know I know! I should be working on my multichapter fic but this just wouldn't leave me alone. I wasn't pleased with how this turned out in the end but I swore I would post it before I started writing… I've never written anything like this before, let alone posted it so please let me know what you think. Oh and I was listening to Leanne Rhimes' version of amazing grace while I wrote this, I suggest you do too.. you'll find it on you tube.

_Becca_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Bones._

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The day was bright, almost mockingly so. The bird song irked some of the solemn group. This wasn't how it should be…. The birds should be silent, the sun hiding it's face for shame behind ominous grey crowds which threatened rain. For shame of the loss of such a bright and vibrant human being. But that isn't how he would've wanted it…

I know.

I sit completely still in the uncomfortable plastic chair. The sun beats against my face. An outdoor funeral. Just as he would've wanted, just as his mother had planned it. I watch the priest but I do not see him.

My thoughts are so many miles away…..

With a conscious effort I pull myself back to the present moment. But I still ignore the priest as he spouts words about my partner. He never knew my partner…..

But I did……

I sit in the foremost row of chairs…. The end of the row. On my right sits deputy director Cullen. His face a stony mask. Further down the row an older woman cries into a mans shoulder. Bitter tears, for the son she has out lived. Further down again Rebecca cries quietly into a balled up tissue. Drew sits at her side. Completely out of place.

8 year old Parker sits just like me, stock still. His eyes are glazed, unseeing yet ever-seeing. He is numb yet dying on the inside. A walking contradiction, we both are… Just like this funeral… It shouldn't have been able to happen.

A poke in my back, a tearful Angela. The father gestures to me to take the podium. I rise. I had been warned of course. But what do you say at your best friends funeral?. I have no idea, and even after the fact I still don't….

It isn't something you plan….,

I sweep my eyes across the mourners. Faces familiar and strange alike watch me. I still have no idea what I am going to say, so I open my mouth and allow the words to flow….

"I recognize many of you. But to me, a good number of you are also strangers." I cringe at my voice. It has gone disused these past days.

"I'm Doctor Temperance Brennan." I introduce myself. "Bones" I add softly. "I'm Booth's partner, and I've been asked to speak because apparently I know him best…" I swallow hard, attempting to dislodge the lump that has formed in my throat. I fail and instead take a deep breath.

_Inhale, Exhale, I live_.

"Seeley Booth was a great many things. A beloved Son, Brother, Father and friend. My best." I swallowed again.

" He was honest, loyal, brave and above all else, forgiving. He was a good Catholic." I take another deep breath, which seems to shred my throat.

_Inhale, exhale, live_.

"I first met Booth four years ago and over that time we've gone from intense dislike, To mutual respect, to partnership and to friendship. If there is one thing I have learned it is that he wouldn't have liked to go any other way. He died doing the job he loved. He died as he lived. A protector."

_**My protector**_.

_Inhale, exhale, live_.

"Just over a year ago. Booth discovered a hidden talent of mine, and nothing made him happier than to hear me share it with his son."

My voice cracked.

"Parker?" The little boy nodded. Rising and joining her.

" My daddy loved to hear us sing." Parker announced. " I picked this song 'cause it's daddy's favorite in the whole world and 'cause he always wanted to hear Dr. Bones sing it 'cause she has the voice like an angel." Another deep breath.

_Inhale, exhale, live_.

Amazing grace how sweet the sound…..

I close my eyes and block the world out, allowing the song to enclose me in it's soft folds. Granting Booth that last wish…

My voice is powerful and controlled. A contradiction to what I feel inside. Inside I am weak and lost, I am one half without another, I am Temperance without Bones. I am incomplete, yet I live.

_Inhale, exhale, live_.

Parker's angelic chords join mine and intertwine in a way Booth always said only ours could. Our hearts have been cracked open and our grief runs freely in the words of our song. Booth always called it a song of healing….

I think I finally understand….

The last faint chords of the song finally fade away and I open my eyes to the harsh truth once more.

Mrs. Booth's sobs echo around the now silent graveyard. Beside me Parker holds my hand tightly. Tears stream down his round cheeks. He finally cries for what he has lost. But my tears don't come.

I am not finished. I have one last truth to speak.

I reach to the back of my neck. My hands are shaking. I hadn't noticed. I fumble with the tiny clasp and remove my chain. Dropping one end, I allow the two silver bands to fall on to my palm.

I look at the mourners as I slide one of them onto my left ring finger. Two anguished cries rose from the crowed. One was Mrs. Booth's I vaguely recognized the other as Angela.

"I approach the open coffin and take his hand in mine. It is cold and stiff to touch as I slide the second ring to it's rightful place. Two tears trail down my cheeks and I find I can no longer speak. The lump in my throat is threatening to suffocate me. I gape a couple of times and parker takes that as his cue to speak.

I lament as Parker tells the mourners of our long term engagement. We never intended to marry. It was the one thing I would never back down on… So we compromised, and became engaged to stay engaged as Booth liked to call it.

It's been two years now….

Parker finishes talking and I smile at him through tear-filled eyes. I know what I must do…. I speak.

"You know, we were planning on telling everyone that night." My voice is hollow at the irony of it all. I look at Parker and then rest my hand on my abdomen.

"We're having a baby girl."

I can hold my tears no longer as the gasp of shock rolls through the mourners, their sobs escalating still higher. They pour down my cheeks carving everlasting patterns in my skin. Invisible, but still ever-present.

Parker takes my hand and we leave the podium together. It is then when things finally begin to click.

My world has ground to a screeching halt but still the world around me spins. Eventually my world will begin to spin again too. But until then, I guess, all I can do is breathe….

Inhale, exhale, live 

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